March 29, 2024

Dave Says: Sharing Successes

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Dear Dave,

My husband and I are 28 years old. We’re completely debt-free, and we each have great jobs. We don’t talk a lot about this kind of stuff, because we’ve found it causes other people to treat us differently. We realize how incredibly blessed we have been, so we always try to give God the credit, save, tithe and give regularly, and not brag about these things. How would you recommend handling a situation like ours?

Amanda

Dear Amanda,

When you start to win with money, build wealth and achieve some of your goals, you discover pretty quickly that there’s a very small group of people you can celebrate with. It sounds like you’ve discovered this already.

A lot of times there are friends, and even family members, you can’t celebrate with because it comes off as bragging — even if you’re just happy you’ve reached a milestone. So, you learn to keep lots of stuff private and not even share the good things. Still, if you have a nice car or a beautiful home, these things can indicate that you’re successful. Even if they’re a small percentage of your financial world, it will sometimes generate feelings of jealousy or envy in other people.

Jealousy is, “I want what you have.” Envy is, “I don’t think I can have what you do, so I don’t want you to have it either.” These are two really evil spirits, and they’re loose in our country today like never before. Part of the price of making smart decisions, and being wise with your money, is that some people don’t understand when you win and don’t think it’s fair.

But the truth is that you guys have every right to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You’ve earned it. You’re generous, giving people, and you take care of your family so the rest of us don’t have to pay extra taxes to take care of them for you. That’s the truth about winning with money. You guys are under no obligation to explain your income, net worth or the fact that you’re winning. And you’re not obligated to be ashamed of it either!

—Dave

*Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He has authored five New York Times best-selling books. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 8.5 million listeners each week on more than 550 radio stations. Dave’s latest project, EveryDollar, provides a free online budget tool. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at www.daveramsey.com.

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